What did Adam say to Eve? ‘Stand back! I don’t know how big this thing gets!’
*My dad helping me find a gf* Dad: What do you want most in a woman? Me: My dick. *Grounded and high fived*
What did the elephant say to the nude man? ‘It’s cute, but can it pick up peanuts?’
I went into the bar the other day & the bartender said: "What'ya have?" I said: "Suprise me." He did, He showed me a naked picture of my wife. I said: "Hey, who said you could mess around with my wife?" "Everyone did" he replied..."
Yo' Mama is so skanky, her idea of safe sex is to lock the car doors.
A sexy girl looks at the big beer belly of a man and asks: Is that Carlsberg or Tuborg? There‘s a tap underneath it – why don‘t you taste it yourself?
Have you heard about the new "Mint flavored birth control pill" for women that they take immediately before sex? They're called "Predickamints".
Did I tell you the joke about my dick? Never mind its too long.
What do nostalgic gynaecologists do? Look up old friends.
A man comes home from a hard day of work only to find his wife laying infront of the fire place with her legs wide open. He asked, "Honey what are you doing?" She replied, "I'm heating up your dinner."
Q: What do you call a Republican politician who hasn't been connected to a gay sex scandal? A: Due.