What’s a man’s ultimate embarrassment?
Walking into a wall with an erection and hurting his nose.
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Q. What do Disney World & Viagra have in common?
A. They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride.
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex lives.
Karen said, "I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does."
Joanne giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner, because of his incredible shaft."
Kathy quietly sipped her whiskey until Joanne finally asked, "Well, what do you call your boyfriend?"
Kathy frowned and said, "The postman." Looking puzzeled Joanne asked, "Why the postman?"
"Because… he always delivers late and half the time it’s in the wrong box."
Q: Why would a blonde wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means Stop.
Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
Vote:
Roses are red
violets are blue,
I have never tried
So can I stick it up you?
Vote:
Good girls go to bed at 8 p.m., since they need to be home by 11 p.m.
A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!"
After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."
A man and his wife went to the pharmacy to pick up his prescription for Viagra.
Seeing the $10 per pill price his wife was astonished - but then realized "it's only going to cost us $30 per year."
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A: Clothes.