Joke #4670

A husband and wife are driving along when they see an injured skunk lying by the roadside. They decide to take it to a vet but don’t have anything to carry it in. ‘Why not wrap it in your skirt?’ suggests the husband. ‘What about the stink?’ protests his wife. Her husband replies, ‘It’ll just have to get used to it.’

A newlywed couple on their honeymoon prepares to see each other naked for the first time. The husband exposes his knotted and twisted feet. He explains, "I had tolio as a child." The wife asks if he means polio. He says, "No, it only affects the toes." He removes his pants and reveals deformed knees. He admits, "I had kneesles, too." Finally, he pulls off his boxers. In shock, the woman gasps, "Oh no...smallcox, too!"

One night a man walks into a bar looking sad. The bartender asks the man what he wants. The man says “Oh just a beer”. The bartender asked the man “Whats wrong,why are you so down today?”. The man said “My wife and i got into a fight,and she said she would’nt talk to me for a month”. The bartender said “So whats wrong with that”? The man siad “Well the month is up tonight”.

Q: What are the three rings of marriage? A: The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering.

Every Man needs a Beautiful wife, intelligent wife, caring wife, loving wife, sexy wife, adjusting & cooperative wife, but it's sad that law allows only one wife.

Three guys talk in a bar. Two discuss how they are king in their castles and how much their wives respect them. The third guy remains quiet. Finally, one guy turns to the quiet guy and asks, "What about you? do you rule your roost?" The quiet guy says, "Well, just the other night, my wife came to me on her hands and knees." "What happened then?" they ask. "She said, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man.'"

I can't see the point of going to a lap-dancing club. If I wanted a woman who would take my money and sexually frustrate me, I would get married.

There’s a lot to be said about marriage, but we try not to say it in front of the children.

A wife to her husband: "Honey, what are you doing?" "I'm reading our marriage certificate." "What for?" "I'm looking for the expiry date..."

Girl to fiancé: ‘When we’re married I want to share all your troubles and worries.’ Fiancé: ‘But I don’t have any troubles and worries.’ Girl: ‘I know, but we’re not married yet.’

Things have reached crisis point in Beryl’s marriage. ‘If things are so bad,’ her friend advises her. ‘Then you should leave your husband.’ ‘I would,’ says Beryl. ‘If only I could think of a way of doing it that wouldn’t make him happy.’