Joke #4683

In bed my girlfriend used to mentally dress me.
Vote:
has 37.36 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: sex

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A very old man went to a church, making this confession: - Father, I am 78 years old, I have been married for 40 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I had sex with an 21 year old woman. - When was the last time you made a confession? - I never have, I am Jewish. - Then why are you telling it to me? - I am telling it everybody ...
Vote:
has 68.98 % from 269 votes. More jokes about: age, church, god, sex, wife
Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, “You’ll never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking.” “Really,” said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. “What is it?” “Back to back.” “But that’s crazy. We can’t do anything back to back.” “Yes we can. I’ve persuaded another couple to help out.”
Vote:
has 67.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, sex, wife
What is the smallest hotel in the world? A p***y - because you gotta leave your bags outside!
Vote:
has 71.58 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Q: What does it mean if you were born in September? A: That your parents started the new year with a bang!
Vote:
has 72.08 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: birthday, dirty, new year, sex, time
Got my wife a dildo and some shoes for her birthday. If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself.
Vote:
has 58.34 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: birthday, dirty, masturbation, sex, vulgar
Two policemen are walking the beat when one says, ‘When I get home, I’m going straight upstairs and tearing off the wife’s underwear.’ ‘Feelling randy?’ asks the other. ‘No,’ says the first. ‘The elastic is killing me.’
Vote:
has 66.48 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: sex
Yo mama ass so big your dad's dick gets lost in it.
Vote:
has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fat, sex, Yo mama
Mary, a horny and sexy 23 year old and a handsome, single, sexy doctor Matt have an appointment together. Doctor: Well what's your problem madam? Mary: Well, there's something wrong with my tongue. Doctor: What's wrong with it? Mary: Examine it and you'll see. Doctor: Why don't you just- Mary: EXAMINE IT! Doctor: Fine. (Starts examining tongue, confused as there is nothing wrong with it.) Mary: (Suddenly pushes tongue into Matt's mouth) Doctor: (Pulls out tongue, furiously) Oh, so that's what's wrong with your tongue, eh? It's wanting sex. I see. I can fix that. (Goes to lock door, and rips off all of his clothes) Now your turn. Mary: Wow. I should have just asked. Doctor: (Starts to plunge in and out his dick from Mary's pussy.) Do you wanna make it more enjoyable? Mary: (Moaning and groaning sexually) Ooooooh yes.... Baby..... Yes.... Doctor: Ooooooh it feels SOOO good. (Starts to moan and groan sexually, he suddenly cums) Mary: Aaaaah a baby, fuck me more! Doctor: (Goes on top of Mary) I'm fucking you as hard as I can! When the session is finished, Mary wants to tell Matt something. Mary: That was great. But do you know why you got so aroused before? Doctors: Yes. It was very strange, I was not horny before. Mary: My tongue had viagra powder on it. That's why I put my tongue in your mouth.
Vote:
has 50.09 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: doctor, sex, viagra
My 1st time having sex. I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She: "What are you doing?" Me: "I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering.
Vote:
has 56.75 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
How can you tell if a blonde is having a bad day? Her tampon is behind her ear and she can’t find her pencil.
Vote:
has 54.57 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: sex