Joke #4709

Why Airplanes are better than Women ? Airplanes usually kill you quickly ...a woman takes her time. Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.... Airplanes don't get mad if you do a "touch and go".... Airplanes don't object to a preflight inspection.... Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.... Airplanes have strict weight and balance limits.... Airplanes can be flown any time of the month.... Airplanes don't come with in-laws.... Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you've flown before.... Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time.... Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes.... Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines.... Airplanes expect to be tied down.... Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills.... Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.... However...when airplanes go quiet...just like women...it's usually not good. If you miscalculate and make a mistake with an airplane, you don't have a bunch of "little airplanes" flying around out of control! When your airplane is sitting there looking at you face to face whining @ 15,000 r's, you want to hear more! With an airplane, your frequency is continuous, and not just once or twice a year! The shape of an airplanes empanage stays constant over the years! Airplanes don't stop for yard and garage sales or tupperware parties! If an airplane gets in the way, you just put it out in the garage, and that is that! It is interesting watching an airplane stall! If a woman ground loops, it is usually more than just a broken prop!

This little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with passing gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. It never smells and it’s always silent. As a matter of fact I’ve passed gas at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was passing gas because it doesn’t smell and it’s silent." The doctor says "I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week." The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don’t know what you gave me, but now my passing gas… although still silent, it stinks terribly." "Good", the doctor said, "now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, we’ll start to work on your hearing."

A Lady calls the airline office in New York and asks, "How long does it take to fly to Hawaii?" The clerk says to her, "Just a second." The woman says "Thank you", and hangs up.

Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.

The waitress asked how I would like my coffee. I told her: "like my woman - hot and black".

What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants a man to satisfy their every little need. A man wants all the women to satisfy their one and only little need.

Trafic policeman: "Didn't you hear my whistle, madam?" Woman driver: "Yes, but I don't like flirting while I'm driving."

Q: Why do women pierce their bellybutton? A: Place to hang their air freshener.

Agnes married and had 13 children. When her husband died, she married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. So Agnes remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, Lord, theyre finally together. One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?" The friend replied, "I think he means her legs."

Women are like telephones. They love to be held. They love to be talked to. But, if you press the wrong button, you're disconnected.

How is a police car like a women? It flashes and It usually has a d*ck in it.