Angry geek dad shouted to kid, "End of discussion; Semicolon;"
Me: Siri, why am I alone? Siri: *opens front facing camera*
Q: What do you call a programmer from Finland? A: Nerdic.
A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with. Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter ‘penis.’ Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password. She then almost died laughing at the computer’s response: PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH!
Bill Gates and Jim Cannavino from IBM are arguing about the future of 32-bit operating systems. They decide to throw a coin. Cannavino: "If the number is up, OS/2 will be the new standard, if it’s head Windows95 will be the new standard." Gates: "Hey, you forgot Windows NT." Cannavino: "No, I didn’t. If the coin falls on end, Windows NT will be the future."
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. "No thanks, I'm traveling light."
A Man from the toilet shouts to his wife : Darling, darling, do you hear me?!!!! What happened, did you run out of toilet paper? No, restart the router, please!
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
"Knock, knock.Who's there?" very long pause... "Java."
What do computers do when they get hungry? They eat chips!