I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around. „What on earth are you doing?!" asks a passer-by. The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit."
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten-tickles.
When is the best time to fake an orgasm? When a rottweiler is humping your leg.
Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
You said it was a great horse and it is. It took twenty other horses to beat him!
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat!
A farmer was bragging. "I've got 350 sheep." "That's a lot of sheep," said another farmer. "And I've got 500 chickens," bragged the farmer. "That's a lot of chickens," answered the second farmer. "And 40 bulls," added the farmer. The other farmer replied, "Boy! That IS a lot of bull."
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He's the Easter Bungee.
Q: Why was Tigger's head in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh!
Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.