What dog can jump higher than a building? Anydog, buildings can't jump!
Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots? A: Bunny farts!
What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal.
A Girl was towelling her wet pussy. She enjoyed it so much that she began to rub it vigorously until... ...the pussy cried "Meow" and runs away. Moral Lessons 1. Be kind to Animals 2. Always keep your thoughts clean...
Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat? A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache? A bad mood.
One day, Little Johnny's grandmother sent him to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and ran back to grandma's house as fast as he could. "Where's my bucket and my water?" She asked. "I can't get any water from that water hole, there's a mean ol' alligator down there!" "Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for years, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!" "Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"
What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear? Hare today, gone tomorrow.
What famous painting do cows love to look at? The Moona Lisa.
Q: Why couldn't the pony sing? A: Because he's a little hoarse.
An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints. The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint. The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow. The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"