What did the blanket say to the bed?
Don't worry Ive got you covered!
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Customer: "Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?"
Waiter: "Can’t you tell the difference by taste?"
Customer: "No, I can’t."
Waiter: "Then does it really matter?"
What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."
A man asked for a meal in a restaurant.
The waiter brought the food and put it on the table.
After a moment, the man called the waiter and said: "Waiter! Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!"
"Please don't speak so loudly, sir," said the waiter, "or everyone will want one."
I want me a big black girl...the type of woman that sits in the car and it looks like it's got tinted windows.
Vote:
Life is like a box of chocolates:
A lot of people can't stand the dark ones.
There appeared suddenly a crowd of many people in the street, because they caught a thief, who has stolen 500 euros from the grocery.
They wanted to beat him up, but Johny stayed still and told the people:
"who is without guilt, may throw a stone at this thief!"
Nobody wanted to throw a stone at this thief, becuase nobody was without guilt.
Suddenly one stone has hit this thief directly into his forehead and he has fallen down to the ground.
Johny asked: "who was it? Who was it?"
The Heaven has opened and the oldest archangel has s aid: "it was me!"
Q: What did the pencil say to the sharpener?
A: Stop going in circles and get to the point.
Vote:
Two friends were having a discussion about their relatives....
"I'll never amount to anything in life..", said the one friend. "In fact, my uncle is the town drunk.."
"Well...that's not too bad.", replied the other, trying to console his friend. "Where does your uncle live..?"
"New York City..."
The results of in-depth studies have determined that the most often used sexual position for marriedcouples is the "doggie position".
The husband sits up and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead.