What did the bee say to the flower? "Hi, honey."
The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
Cats took many thousands of years to domesticate humans.
What does a cow like to do by a campfire? Roast Moosmallows.
Did you hear about the aristocratic horse? He was the last of his race!
Would a Police-Dog arrest itself for fouling the street? Police Dog Joke Submitted by Kabogga.
Why did the dinosaur have so few friends? Because Tyrannosaurus reeks!
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space? Steer Wars.
What happened to the cold jellyfish? It set.
An old man approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him. He replies, “Well, my pet chicken, of course!” “I’m sorry,” The girl tells him. “We can’t allow animals in the cinema.” The man goes around the corner and stuffs the chicken into his trousers. He returns to the window, buys his ticket and goes in. Inside the cinema, the chicken starts to get hot and begins to squirm, so the man unzips his trousers so the chicken can stick it’s head out and watch the film. Seated next to him is a woman. She looks over at his lap and is horrified. She elbows her friend Agnes and whispers, “Agnes, this man over here has just unzipped his trousers!” Agnes whispers back, “Oh, don’t worry about it… you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.” Madge says, “I KNOW…but this one’s eating my POPCORN!”
Why do milking stools only have three legs? 'Cause the cow's got the udder!