The worst place to have a heart attack is during a gama of cherades. ...Especially if the people you are playing with, are really bad guessers.
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume!
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.
I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
Use to be we had Bob Hope, Johnny Cash, and Steven Jobs. Now we have no hope, no cash, and no jobs. Please do not die Kevin Bacon.
How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor.
Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever. Me: What's that hunny? Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk. Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion. You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children. You put groceries in the other.
What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't? Ended a race.