Joke #4775

Use to be we had Bob Hope, Johnny Cash, and Steven Jobs. Now we have no hope, no cash, and no jobs. Please do not die Kevin Bacon.
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has 80.15 % from 186 votes. More jokes about: black humor

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A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower. "There is a blind man to see you," she says. "Well, if he is a blind man, than it does not matter if I’m in the shower. Send him in." The blind man walks into the bathroom, and mother superior starts to tell him how much she appreciates him working at the convent for them. She goes on and on and 10 minutes later the man interrupts: "That’s nice and all, ma’am, but you can put your clothes on now. Where do you want me to put these blinds."
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has 83.25 % from 242 votes. More jokes about: black humor, work
Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson
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has 49.00 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, celebrity, kids
Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand.
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has 32.71 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, lawyer, morbid
What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday? He ate himself.
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
Q: What does FUBU really stand for? A: Farmers used to buy us.
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has 28.23 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: black humor
A guy walks in the local whorehouse, says "I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money." The guy behind the counter says "How bout the $1.95 cent special?" The customer says "ok", and he paid, headed to the room. When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out, just waiting for him. He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her. Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears. He freaked, "omg she's sick." He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happe ning, and the guy says "hey Joe! The dead one's full again!"
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has 54.80 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: black humor, customer service, dirty, disgusting, money
A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"
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has 82.05 % from 712 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, funeral, husband, women
Someone going to work sees a crowd of people walking. Looking at the beginning of course, he sees a coffin behind a gentleman with a little dog followed by the crowd. Approaching the owner and he asks him: "What happened here, man?" "Pff, my mother-in-law died," he said. "Hush how sad eh… And, if allowed, how?" "My dog bit her…" "You don't tell me! Could you lend him to me just for tonight?" "Get in line!"
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has 81.04 % from 219 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, dog, mother in law, work
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
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has 85.06 % from 1898 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, phone
Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall? A: To see her crack.
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has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: black humor