Why are marriend women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the refrigerator and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the refrigerator.
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"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What?
Are you crazy?
The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
Q: Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
A: Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.
Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop?
A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Vote:
Think of the hottest woman.
Chuck Norris did her.
Vote:
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what?
You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"
"What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
”I think you're bad luck."
What do you call a black woman thats had 5 or more abortions?
Crime fighter.
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Q: Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter?
A: Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.
Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised?
A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?"
Woman: "No."
Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"