Why is Facebook like Jail?
"You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don't really know!"
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Q: How do you get 15,000 followers?
A: Run through Africa with a water bottle.
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I'm going to change my Facebook name to Benefits.
Now, when someone adds me on Facebook, it will say: you are now friends with Benefits.
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Facebook is like a fridge.
Even when u know there's nothing new going on, u still go on & check it every 10 minute.
Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.
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A Detroit-area woman who was removed from a jury for commenting about the ongoing case on Facebook has a longer writing task ahead: a five-page essay about the constitutional right to a fair trial.
She responded, "Can I just get the answer from Wikipedia and send it to the inbox on your Facebook page instead?"
A new study found that more than 11 million people have quit Facebook in the last three years.
And unfortunately, none of them were your parents.
Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter?
When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends' houses to show them the picture of your dinner?
No?
Me neither.
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Boss comes up to an employee:
"Yesterday you did a great job - in one day you managed to do as much work, as you did in previous month!"
"Thanks boss, that's because Facebook was shut down for the whole day."
Facebook hides it's privacy from Chuck Norris.
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