I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.
Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
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Similar jokes
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Q: What's the only thing faster than a black man running away with your TV?
A: His son running away with your VCR.
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What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!
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Q: What's faster than the speed of light?
A: A jew passing Germany.
Q: What was Hitler's favorite drink?
A: Concentrated jews.
A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around.
„What on earth are you doing?!" asks a passer-by.
The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit."
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A guy wasn’t feeling well and went to the doctor for a check up.
He did the tests and waited.
After a while, the doctor came in with the results.
"Unfortunately, I have very bad news! You’re seriously ill! You have really not much time to live.."
"Doctor..! How much time do I have..?"
"Ten..."
"Ten what? Months? Years? What?!"
"Nine...Eight...Seven..."
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Q: Why did hitter kill himself?
A: Because he could not pay the gas bill.
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What's better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag?
1 dead baby in 10 bags.
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Awwww, kids. They blow up so fast...
Get it, kids grow up so fast.
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There are 3 men on a plane a Mexican an American and a Russian the Mexican says "I hate my country!"
And throughs a soup out the window the American says "I hate my country" and throughs a pie out the window.
The Russian says "I hate my country!"
And throughs a bomb out the window.
Then the plane lands and the Mexican sees a kid crying the Mexican says "what's wrong kid?"
The kid says "a soup fell on my mom's head and she burnt to death."
"I didn't do that" says the Mexican.
The American was walking and saw a kid crying "what's wrong kid?"
The kid says "my mom was driving and a pie fell on her windshield and drove off a cliff cause she couldn't see!"
"I didn't do that" says the American.
Then the Russian gets off the plane and saw a kid laughing his head off.
The Russian says "what's so funny?"
The kid says " daddy farted and the house went BOOM BOOM!"