I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"
Rocky Balboa was a lucky man because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.
So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
A golfer was addressing his ball, getting ready to shoot. Just as he was about ready to hit, a voice came over the p.a. system - "Will the gentleman on the lady's tee please move back to the men's tee". He looked up, looked back down and then resumed addressing the ball again. The Voice again - "Will the Man on the Red tees PLEASE MOVE BACK to the White Tees?!" He looked back at the starters shack and yelled, "Will the IDIOT on the p.a. shut up so that the man on the lady's tee can hit his second shot"!
There was a terrible tragedy concerning the local ice hockey team. They drowned during spring training.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan.
Why did the football coach go to the bank? "To get his Quarter back."
What did the trampolinist say? ‘Life has its ups and downs, but I always bounce back.’ Tennis
Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
The frustrated golfer drove over the river and threw the woods. Swimming
"If we don't change the direction we're going, we're likely to end up at the wrong end." "People who go out of their way to help others have great taste." "An eye for an eye leaves everybody blind, but not hungry." "Don't give up though the pace seems slow, you may succeed at another morgue." "A journey of a hundred trillion cells begins with a single nibble." "The only difference between a big shot and a little shot is that the big shot takes longer to chew." "It's all right to have little butterflies in your stomach. In fact, I'd say a trip to the elementary school play is a wonderful idea." "You don't know what your appetite can get away with until you try. Or are tried." "If you carry your childhood with you, you should probably go the bathroom soon." "Never keep up with Joneses. Have them over for dinner." "Let your hook always be cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be a very startled swimmer."