Joke #4917

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy.“

I had to get rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.

What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater? Claws.

What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast? How slime flies.

A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed. His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied,  "Some things you just can't explain. This morning I was outside milking a cow. As soon as the bucket was full the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left foot to a pole. I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right foot to a pole too. As soon as I finished milking the cow again he knocked down the bucket with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt. As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can't explain."

What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk? A milk dud.

First Caribou: Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts? Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.

Q: Why did the woman get thrown out of the riding stable? A: She wanted to mount the horse her way.

What gives milk and has a horn? A milk tank.

First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros? Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.

What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milkshake.