A female school teacher comes up to a parent at a parent meeting and says, "You know, your son called me a prostitute!" Dad calls up his son and says: "So this teacher teaches you, helps you, wants you to get good grades and for all that you call her a prostitute?? what do you care about what she does after work?"
Teacher and her 3 boy students: Teacher: “Why did you laugh?” Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your bra.” Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one week.” Boy 2 laughed… Teacher: “Why did you laugh?” Boy 2: “I saw your bra straps.” Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one month.” Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Boy 3 started walking out of the class… Teacher: “Why are you leaving?” Boy 3: “I think my school days are over.”
Q: What is long and hard to a blonde? A: Fourth grade.
Teacher: Now, Ramu, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Ramu: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
Two fathers chat outside school in the morning; "Bill, have you solved your son’s math problems?" "Yes, man, I did. Why?" "Can you quickly give them to me, so I can copy them...?"
This guy was having a problem with mice in his apartment. "Dude," he told a friend, "I've tried everything and those damn mice keep coming back." "I had the same thing man," his friend says. "All you have to do is stuff steel wool in their little holes." "That's it?" the guy asked. "I'll do it tonight if it means getting rid of the damn rodents." About a week later the guy gets a call. "How's it going with the mice, buddy?" "Not so good, dude." "What's the problem?" his friend asks. "To be honest, I'm having a lot of trouble holding their little legs apart."
A teacher asked a student to write 55. Student asked: How? Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! The student wrote 5 and stopped. Teacher: What are you waiting for? Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
Teacher: Shamu, go to the map and find North America. Shamu: Here it is! Teacher: Correct. Now, Ramu, who discovered America? Ramu: Shamu!
What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says ‘chew chew chew’.
Teacher: "Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus four?" Class: "At once!"
Teacher: Ramu, why do you always get so dirty? Ramu: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.