Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because pets can't bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Because the blondes couldn't either.
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Q: Once there was the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, Easter bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde they were walking down the road when they saw a $100 dollars bill who gets it??
A: No one the first four doesn't exist and the other blonde thought it was a gum wrapper!
A road crew supervisor hired a nice-looking blonde woman to assist with painting the yellow line down the middle of the road.
He was skeptical about hiring her, but she appeared enthusiastic and told him that she really needed the job.
He explained to her that her work day would be to complete 2 miles of line on her road, and he set her up with her brushes and paint and got her started.
After the first day, he was pleased to find that she did an excellent job and was able to paint 4 miles of road in her 8 hour shift.
He told her that she did an excellent job and how pleased he was with her progress.
On the second day, she completed painting 2 miles of road.
Her supervisor was surprised that on day one she had completed twice as much work, but did not say anything, as 2 miles of road was the amount that the job required anyway.
He decided to just accept it, and to look forward to the next day when he was sure she would pick up her speed again.
On day 3 he was shocked to learn that in her 8 hour shift, she only completed painting 1 mile of road.
He called her into his office and asked her what was the problem, “On your first day, you completed 4 miles of road, on your second day, 2 miles of road, and now on day 3, you were only able to complete 1 mile of road. Can I ask you, what is the problem?”
“Well, she replied, I keep getting farther and farther from the paint can.”
Three women escape from prison….one is a redhead, one a brunette, and one a blonde.
They run for miles until they come upon an old barn; they decide to hide in the hayloft and rest.
When they climb up, they find three gunnysacks and decide to put them over their heads for camouflage.
About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy come into the barn. T
he sheriff tell his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft.
When he got up there the sheriff asked him what he saw.
The deputy told him just three gunnysacks.
The sheriff told him to find out what was in them…..so the deputy kicked the first bag, which had the redhead in it……and she went “Bow-wow.”
So the deputy told the sheriff there was a dog in the first one.
Then he kicked the one with the brunette in it and she went “Meow.”
The deputy told the sheriff there was a cat in the second one.
Then he kicked the one with the blonde in it and there was no sound at all, so he kicked it again and the blonde said
“Potatoes.”
Why does a man prefer blondes?
Men always like intellectual company.
Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.
Q: There are 17 blonds standing outside a disco but why couldn't they get in?
A: The sign said "must be 18 to enter".
A blonde was walking down the street, carrying a brown paper bag.
She ran into one of her friends.
Her friend asked, "Hey! What do you have in the bag?"
She tells her friend that she has some fish in the bag.
The friend says, "Fish! Well, I'll make you a bet.If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one."
The blonde says, "I'll tell you what. If you tell me how many fish I have in this bag, I'll give you both of them."
Q. Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A. She kept having affairs with men!
A blonde was sick and tired of people making fun of her for being a blonde, so she decided to hang herself.
A couple minutes later two men walk by and see her hanging by her wrists.
"What are you doing." they ask her.
So she replies "Hanging myself."
The men are confused and asked "If you are hanging youself, you put the rope around your neck."
The blond says "Duh....I tried that, I couldn't breath."