Joke #5030

TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son. FATHER: What's that? TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.
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has 73.75 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: school

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Eleven year old’s environmental studies essay on the effect of oil pollution: "When my mum opened a tin of sardines last night it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead."
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has 76.48 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: age, death, school
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules. "The female hostel will be prohibited for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $50 the first time." He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $100. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $200. Are there any questions?" At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How much for a season pass?"
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has 83.01 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: college, money, school, student
A student called her best friend and said that she had some great news. “The teacher told me that we had to do a test today in rain or shine,” she told her. “Why is that great,” her friend asked. “It’s snowing today!”
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: school
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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has 82.47 % from 1543 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school, teacher
A student visits the principal's office The principal asks: "What is your name?" The student replies: "D-d-d-dav-dav-david." The principal asks: "Do you have a stutter?" Student answers: "No, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was an asshole."
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has 71.29 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: school, student
Why do mexicans walk around the school like they own the place? Cause there dad built it and there mom cleans it at night.
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has 60.35 % from 211 votes. More jokes about: dad, mexican, racist, school
A little girl cuts her hand on the playground and runs crying to the teacher. She asks the teacher for a glass of cider. "Why do you want a glass of cider?" the teacher asks. "To take away the pain," sobs the little girl. "What do you mean?" the teacher asks. "Well," sobs the little girl. "I overheard my big sister say that whenever she has a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider."
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has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: school
A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The mother, more that a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
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has 73.29 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, school
A college Professor, an avowed Atheist, was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated he was going to prove there is no God. Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!" The lecture room fell silent. You could have heard a pin drop. Ten minutes went by. Again the Professor taunted God, saying, "Here I am, God! I'm still waiting!" His count-down got down to the last couple of minutes when a Marine, just released from active duty and newly registered in the class, walked up to the Professor and punched him full-force in the face. The Professor tumbled from his lofty platform, and he was out cold before he hit the floor. At first the students were shocked, and they babbled in confusion. The young Marine took a seat in the front row and sat silently. The class fell silent... waiting. Eventually, the Professor came to. When he finally regained the power of speech, he glared at the young Marine in the front row. "What's the matter with you? Why on earth did you do that?" The Marine smiled. "God was busy. He sent me."
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has 62.77 % from 176 votes. More jokes about: atheist, communication, god, military, school
Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you believe in the Devil?" "No," said Little Johnny. "It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."
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has 73.79 % from 262 votes. More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, Santa, school, teacher