I've got a new anorexic girlfriend.
Its not going too well though.
I'm just seeing less and less of her ... 
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Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised?
A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
1 woman and 9 men shipwreck on a deserted island.
After one week, the woman, disgusted by the things she was doing, kills herself.
After another week, the men, disgusted by the things they were doing, buried her.
After another week, the men, more disgusted by the things they were doing, dug her up.
Vote:
Whats six inches long, has a head on it and drives women wild ?
A fifty pound note !
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news.
One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping.
A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby.
"Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it.
If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
Could you imagine if God turns out to be a woman ?
Not only am I going to hell, but I will never know why.
Q: What do you call a blonde chick standing on her head?
A: A brunette.
"There are two theories to arguing with women.
Neither one works."
Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets.
They do so within groups of 40.