I've got a new anorexic girlfriend. Its not going too well though. I'm just seeing less and less of her ...
First Cannibal: "Who was that girl I saw you with last night?" Second Cannibal: "That was no girl, that was my supper."
In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested. After that, He creaed man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.
Q: Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist? A: Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.
Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.
They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history. At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
Question: What do you call a woman who has lost 95 percent of her intelligence? Answer: Divorced.
What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common? They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one.
Womens are like computer virus... they ENTER your life... SEARCH your pocket... SHIFT your balance ... CONTROL your life... when you become an old version DELET you from the system
A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?” “What dear?” she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. ”I think you’re bad luck.”
What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday? A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.