What is the shortest mathematicians joke?
Let epsilon be smaller than zero.
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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
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If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 969696969696969.
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If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
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If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9…
Old mathematicians never die - they just lose some of their functions.
Two random variables were talking in a bar.
They thought they were being discrete but I heard their chatter continuously.
Teacher asks student: What is the half of 8?
Student: Miss horizontally or vertically?
Teacher: What do mean?
Student: Horizontally it is 0 and vertically it is 3.
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: Because she couldn't find the 11
Chuck Norris doesn't solve math - math solves Chuck Norris.
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Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
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Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.
My math teacher called me average...
How mean!
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain.
Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
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