A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
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Me: Siri, why am I alone?
Siri: *opens front facing camera*
Install the Blue Screen of Death screen-saver on someone's computer.
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Virus "Windows" found: Delete, Repair, Next?
Computers are like air conditioners.
They work fine until you start opening windows.
You realize that you are dependent of the internet when:
You forget in what year you are.
You get out from you’re room and you discover that you’re parent moved and you don’t even know when that happened.
You dream only of quick connections.
You open you’re interphone when you get out from you’re room so you can hear when you get an e-mail.
HR manager to job candidate: ‘I see you’ve had no computer training.
Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.’
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Programmer.
A machine that turns coffee into code.
Q: What did Data find when he went into the bathroom stall?
A: Captain's log.
Chuck Norris can access the DB from the UI.
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