How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower.
Q: What was Hitler's favorite toy as a kid? A: An Easy-Bake Oven.
A large number of Black soldiers died in Iraq war because every time their chief said: "Get on the floor!" they stood up and started dancing.
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine. I guess that was why several of us died of tuberculosis.
Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing? A: He didn't have any arms.
Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history? Hitler.
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''
Q: Why are jelly beans alot like the world? A: Because everyone hates the black ones.
Smith was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven. And everyone who goes to heaven has to work. God went up to Smith, and said: Smith, you are going to make babies. Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out. For hours, Smith spun the wheel at full speed, then he started to get tired. As he was slowing down, a black baby came out...and Smith said: **** I better hurry because they are burning."
What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana ? One's composing, the other is decomposing.