Q. What do you call a sensitive, intelligent man?
A. An oxymoron.
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Warning ladies!
Never trust a man who calls you "SEXY".
This is why. When he removes the letter 'Y' it means you're down for "SEX". After sex, he will remove the letter "S" and start calling you his "EX".
The average man is proof enough that women can take a joke.
Why do women make better soldiers?
Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
A man parachuted out of an aeroplane and his chute did not open.
As he headed for almost certain death, he saw a man coming up toward him through the air from the ground.
As the man zoomed by, the man headed down asked, "Do you know anything about parachutes?"
The man replied in passing, "No, you know anything about gas stoves?"
Men are like.....Lawn Mowers.
If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.
"What is the thickest book in the world?
What Men Think They Know About Women."
Men are like... Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie.
When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture.
The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porn film and it was due out in a month.
A month later, the musician went to a porn theatre to see the adult movie.
With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row of the adult cinema, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise.
The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M, bondage and even a dog.
After a while watching the adult movie, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music."
"Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog."
It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.