Joke #5140

Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads? So you can pick them up five at a time
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

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There was an old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time, so they decided to dress up and go out. The old woman went in her bedroom, stripped naked, and tied a string between her legs with a lemon at the end of the string. When she walked out of the room her husband yelled, "You can't go out like that!" "I can go out as whatever I want and so can you!" The man agreed and went into his room. Soon he came out naked with a string tied to his penis and a potato at the end of the string. The woman said, "You're going out as that?" "Yes," said the old man. "If you can go out as a sourpuss, I can go out as a dicktator."
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has 71.74 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: couple, disgusting, Halloween, old people
Q: What's the difference between hockey player and hippie girl? A: Hockey player will take shower after 3 periods.
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has 69.84 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sport
An Ohio State University mortician student walked into the embalming room where a cadaver was lying on the table. Confident that he knew enough now to begin the procedure without his instructor, he began to examine the body. When he rolled it over, he was shocked to see a cork in the man's butt. Mystified, he pulled it out and immediately heard the University of Michigan fight song come out of the guy's butt. Shaken by what had happened, he quickly shoved the cork back into it's original resting place. He then ran to get his instructor, nervously shouting, "Sir, you must come, you won't believe what I discovered!" Annoyed by the interruption, the professor said, "Let's take a look at this astounding discovery." When they entered the morgue, the teacher was also surprised to see the cork, so he approached the table and promptly removed the cork. Upon hearing the University of Michigan fight song, he quickly replaced the cork in the cadaver's butt and said, "What's so surprising about that? I've heard thousands of assholes sing that song!"
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has 72.70 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, music, school, student
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, health
A cowboy rides in the desert and comes upon a Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?" The naked man replies, "I'm finding out the time -- it is 12:15." The cowboy looks at his watch and thinks, "Wow, it really is 12:15." The cowboy continues and sees another Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?" The naked man replies, "I'm seeing what time it is -- it is 3:15." The cowboy looks at his watch and that is the correct time. The cowboy continues and finds a third Native American lying naked on the ground, masturbating. The cowboy asks what he's doing and he replies, "I'm winding my watch."
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has 65.74 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: cowboy, disgusting, masturbation, time
This stupid bug is appearing on a blasted line which would blow up the toilet. Then they go like "Tom tom tom tom" then back to the toilet and stupidly disgusted by a recently married woman and erecting a man in a toilet.
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has 11.62 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, masturbation, men, women
What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon? "Honey, no in-between meal snacks!"
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
A man jumps off a building at the same time that another man pisses. Which hits the ground first? The piss, because nobody beats the Wiz!
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef? A: Anyone can roast beef.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?" A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: couple, disgusting, sex