What do you call a baby on a stick? A Kebabie.
Q: What's the difference between Auschwitz and Sarajevo? A: At least they had gas in Auschwitz.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy "Hey mister its getting dark out and I'm scared." Man "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."
First cannibal: "I can't find anything to eat!" Second cannibal: "But the jungle's full of people." First cannibal: "Yes, but they're all very unsavory."
Since it started to rain, my wife can't stop looking through the window. If it will start pouring down, I'm afraid I will have to let her inside.
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
A Mexican and a nigger are riding in car. Who's driving? A cop!
Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall? A: To see her crack.
What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!
A guy wasn’t feeling well and went to the doctor for a check up. He did the tests and waited. After a while, the doctor came in with the results. "Unfortunately, I have very bad news! You’re seriously ill! You have really not much time to live.." "Doctor..! How much time do I have..?" "Ten..." "Ten what? Months? Years? What?!" "Nine...Eight...Seven..."