Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
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Q: There is a $100 bill sitting in the middle of a 4 way intersection, at one side there is a man hating dike, at another side, there is Santa, at another side there is the Easter Bunny, and at the las side there is a man loving lesbian. Who gets the $100 bill?
A: The man hating dike because all others are a figure of your imagination.
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom."
The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him.
The man asks, "Is it serious, doctor?"
The doctor replies, "I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg."
Why is a man different from a PC?
You only have to tell the PC once.
What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
Wife: "I have to tell you something. I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad."
Wife: "No, you are not."
Q. How do men define a long-term relationship?
A. A second date.
How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night?
He controls himself.
Why can't single women fart?
They don't get an asshole till they get married.
Q: What is the difference between a puppy and a man?
A: Eventually the puppy will grow up and stop whining.
This french guy he wants to learn English.
So one day he goes to an airport to learn "take off".
Then he goes to the zoo to learn "zebra".
Then he goes to the hospital "baby"
So one day he walks up too a hot girl on a beach in a bikini and he said "Take off zebra baby" (take off the bra baby).