What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ? A Pedophiles ass.
Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff. The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors. Bad News: There were three empty seats.
A woman gave her two sons to different families for adoption. One goes to an Egyptian family and called Amal. The second child goes to Spain and is called Juan. Many years later, Juan sends his mother a photo of himself. She turns to her sister saying that she wished that she had a photo of her other son. The sister responded "Hey, they are identical twins. If you have seen Juan, you have seen Amal."
What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag.
An apple and a black person both fall off a tree at the exact same time who hits the ground first? The apple because the rope catches the black person.
What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan.
The judge asks the murderer: Why did you kill that old lady? For money.. But you got only 20 cents Yes, but killing five of them would already make a dollar.
Q: What was Hitler's favorite toy as a kid? A: An Easy-Bake Oven.
Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes. Now it is the third man's turn. He asks for a fork. The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork. As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, "To hell with your canoes!"
I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
Why was the cannibal looking peeky? Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!