What's the best thing about a Siamese twin baby?
Threesomes.
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What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long?
A runny bunny.
Q: Why do men fart louder than women?
A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.
Two brothers, Bob and Tom, both work for a lumberyard.
One day, Bob tells Tom that he can tell what any piece of wood is just by smelling it.
Unbelieving, Tom blindfolds Bob and proceeds to test the theory.
The first piece of wood Bob smells, he instantly identifies as maple.
The second piece Bob instantly identifies as walnut.
Tom cannot believe Bob can really do this, so he takes an old piece of wood and whispers to the secretary to rub the wood between her legs. She happily runs it up in her crotch.
Tom hands the piece of wood to Bob.
Bob smells it three times.
"I am stumped. But I would have to guess that this wood is either a pussywillow or a shingle from a shithouse."
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What is the sharpest thing in the world?
A Fart.
It goes through your pants and doesn't even leave a hole.
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Q: Why did the cowboy have sh*t in his mustache?
A: Cuz he'd been lookin for love in all the wrong places.
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Q: What's grosser than gross?
A: Two vampires fighting over a used tampon.
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An Aggie and a Longhorn had just bought a ranch together, so they were driving the fence line to check everything out when they came upon a goat with his head stuck in a fence.
So the Longhorn gets out of the truck, looks around, and then starts screwing the goat.
He gets finished, takes a step back, ands asks the Aggie, "Hey, you want a piece of this?"
The Aggie says, ´"Yeah, but do I have to stick my head in the fence?"
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Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet?
A: Winnie the Pooh.
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A lady goes to the doctor, and says:
"Doc, I have this smell about me that I can't get rid of no matter what I do. Can you help me?"
The doctor says, "yeah I can help you but I'll have to examine you. You'll have to take all your clothes off first."
So the lady takes her clothes off.
Right away the doctor says, "hold on, I'll be right back."
A couple minutes later he comes back with an 8-foot stick that has a little hook on the end of it.
The lady says, "oh doctor, what str going to do with that?"
And the doctor says, as he's going through the movements of opening a high window, "well I'm going to open the window, it smells like shit in here."
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Joke has 44.74 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, doctor, insulting, women
If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.
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