What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away. 
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Q. Where do polar bears vote?
A. The North Poll.
How can you tell that elephants have been doing it in your garage?
All your Hefty Bags are missing.
A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland.
As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used.
She showed the group a lively hillside where many goats were grazing.
"These," she explained, "are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce."
She then asked, "What do you do in America with your old goats?"
A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"
A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals.
So he went to every house in his town.
To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse.
To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given.
He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening.
"Who's the boss around here?" he asked.
"I am." said the man.
"I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said, "which one would you like?"
The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one."
"No, no, no, get the brown one." the man's wife said.
"Here's your chicken." said the farmer.
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Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner?
He was already stuffed!
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Q: What do you call a cow during an earthquake?
A: A milk shake.
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
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How did the blonde try to kill the bird??
She threw it off a cliff.
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?
A: He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.