Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
When Chuck Norris is as old as dirt, he will be the salt of the earth.
Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals. Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Suicide committed Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't ask, "who's your daddy?" Chuck Norris is your daddy.
Chuck Norris can lie honestly.
Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.