Joke #5198

I never drink water… fish f**k in it.
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has 56.40 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms. He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?" She responds, "No sir, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?"
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has 82.18 % from 639 votes. More jokes about: dirty, drug, women
A boss has to fire one of 2 workers, Jack and Jill. However, Both Jack and Jill are skilled workers and he is finding it really, really difficult to pick. So after their shifts, Jack goes home before Jill does, and the boss goes over to Jill just before she gets into her car. He informs her of his dilemma. "Hey Jill, I have a problem." "Ok Boss, what is it?" she asks "I Can't decide whether to lay you or Jack off, what would you suggest?" "Well, you'd better get the vasoline, i'm going home!"
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has 73.69 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: dirty, management, masturbation, work
Q: What does it mean if you were born in September? A: That your parents started the new year with a bang!
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has 72.08 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: birthday, dirty, new year, sex, time
A crazy man jumps from the bushes and opens his coat in front of an old lady to surprise and terrify her. The granny takes a look at him and sais: "oh, dash, I´ve forgotten to buy the eggs."
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has 65.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty, memory, old people
I'd have a comeback for that, but all my come's backed up in your throat.
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has 57.03 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Today in lesson Little Jonny went to the back of the room and Miss McRacen went "Not in the back." Jonny: "That's what she said." Miss: "Get out!" Jonny "She said that too."
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has 60.41 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, little Johnny, school, sex
A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks. "No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
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has 63.38 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: dirty, ugly
When I was younger I used to think having sex was kissing naked. One day after showering my dog came in the restroom, so I kissed him on the head, after realizing what I did I ran downstairs, and told my mom that I had sex with the dog, you can image her face after hearing this. Yep I was a very dumb child.
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has 75.57 % from 681 votes. More jokes about: dirty, dog, kids, sex
A married woman walks up to Santa Claus and tells him that all she wants for Christmas is for her husband to be interested in s*x. Santa then proceeds to give her a bottle of pills. He tells her to give them a try and then let him know how it's working. So she takes the pills home and puts one pill in her husband's Christmas dinner. That night, they make love for one hour. The next day, she's running around thrilled and happy. "Oh, my God. I can't believe how well that worked," she thinks to herself. That night she puts two pills in his food and that night they make love for two hours. The next day, she's even more thrilled, so she dumps all the pills in his food. Two weeks go by without any word from this woman, so Santa decides to give her a call. A little boy answers the phone. Santa says, "Little boy, is your mother home?" "No, she's...who's this?" the little boy asks. "I'm a friend of your mother's and I gave her some pills to help her out a couple of weeks ago. Maybe you know how it's going?" "That was you?!" the little boy says. "Let me tell you. Mom's dead, sister's pregnant, my ass hurts and Dad's in the attic going, 'Here kitty, kitty, kitty. "
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has 81.50 % from 557 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why did the Avon lady walk funny? A: Her lipstick.
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has 49.00 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty