Q: How do you make seven an even number? A: Take the s out!
Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach? A: Because they can divide sin and cosine to get a tan!
A statistician's wife had twins. He was delighted. He rang the minister who was also delighted. "Bring them to church on Sunday and we'll baptize them," said the minister. "No," replied the statistician. "Baptize one. We'll keep the other as a control."
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ? The logician replies: "yes".
A chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore. The chemist and the physicist comes up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
The bartender asks: "Would all three of you like some beer?" The first one replies, "I don't know." The second one replies, "I don't know either." The third replies, "Yes."
Maths and Girls are the most complicated things, but Maths at least has some logic.
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
Chuck Norris can divide prime numbers into whole numbers.
Sex is like math: Add the bed Subtract the clothes Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
Two statisticians go bird hunting. The first one fires at the bird but overshoots by 5 feet. The second one fires and undershoots the bird by 5 feet. They both give each other a high-five and say "Got it!"