Guy: Wanna suck my dick? Girl: No. Guy: Probably for the best. I mean, it has a label-Warning! Choking Hazard! Girl: Isn't that the warning put on tiny objects?
What does a Rubik's cube and a pen*s have in common? They both get harder the longer you play with them.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
What do you call an afghan virgin Mever bin laid on
Teacher: And therefore, sperm cells are made up of glucose. Student: So you're saying that sperm has sugar in it? Teacher: Technically. Yes. Student: But it doesn't even taste like that... Teacher: what? Student: what?
An ugly bloke walks into a pub with a huge grin on his face. "What are you so happy about ?" asks the landlord. "Well, I live by the railway and on my way home last night I noticed a woman tied to the tracks. I cut her free and we shagged all night !" "Did you get a blow job ?" asks the landlord. "No ..." he says, "I never found the head."
A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'." His wife says, "That's a duck." He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."...
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
I use camouflage condoms so they cant see me coming.
What did the Left Nut say to the right nut? Don't talk to the guy in the middle he's a d*ck!...