Joke #5227

He came into my room late at night. He sat over my body, He sucked, swallowed and he left. It was terrible. It was a BLOODY MOSQUITO!
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What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application? Your iphone will keep crashing!
Vote: has 59.80 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

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Sex is like math: Add the bed Subtract the clothes Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
Vote: has 65.08 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!
Vote: has 81.54 % from 1493 votes. Send joke:

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Who is little, black and jumps? A flee! But who’s big, black and jumps? Dr. Alban!
Vote: has 20.74 % from 86 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
Vote: has 67.69 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

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One day a women walks into work in a short skirt. As she’s walking to her desk she gets stopped by a co-worker, who says, “Your hair smells really nice today.” She grimaces and stomps into her manager’s office. She says,”I want to file a sexual harassment complaint!” and then relates what happened. The manager says, “What’s wrong with him complimenting how your hair smells?” Furious, she snarls, “He’s a midget!”
Vote: has 71.12 % from 70 votes. Send joke:

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Jim decided to propose to Sandy, but prior to her acceptance. Sandy had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. She informed Jim that she suffered a disease that left her breasts at maturity of a 12 years old. He stated that it was OK because he loved her so much. “I too have a problem. My penis is the same size as an infant and I hope you could deal with that once we are married.” She said, “Yes I will marry you and learn to live with your infant penis.” Sandy and Jim got married and they could not wait so Jim whisked Sandy off to their hotel suite and they started touch teasing, holding one another. As Sandy put her hands in Jim’s pants, she began to scream and ran out of the room! Jim ran after her to find out what was wrong. She said, “You told me your penis was the size of an infant!” “Yes it is: 8 pounds, 7 ounces, 19 inches long!”
Vote: has 87.31 % from 1045 votes. Send joke:

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A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?" "Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose." "Wow, what does it look like after sex?" "Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
Vote: has 55.51 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

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A couple driving home hit and wounded a skunk on the road. The wife gets out and brings it back to the car. "We need to take it to a vet. Its shivering, it must be cold, what should I do?" she asks. Husband replies "Put it between your legs to keep it warm." "But it stinks!" she exclaims. "So hold its nose!"
Vote: has 85.42 % from 440 votes. Send joke:

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What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common? In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.
Vote: has 85.14 % from 424 votes. Send joke:

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