A blonde had some goldfish and she did not know how to feed them. So she called her brunette friend, and she showed her how. Once they were done feeding them, the blonde said, "Now, what do I give them to drink?"
Why did the blonde stand in front of the mirror with her eyes closed? She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.
The blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more. "I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any." "But I always get it here," says the blonde. "Do you have the container it comes in?" "Yes!" says the blonde, "I will go and get it." She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist, who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant." The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: "To apply, push up bottom."
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed.
A group of blondes was going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day, I am going to dial 911 and call the cops!"
What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back!
What did the blonde’s right leg say to her left leg? Nothing, they’ve never met!
She was so blonde that she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
How do blonde brain cells die? Alone!
Q: What does a blonde do when it gets cold? A: Sits around a candle Q: What does she do when it gets really cold? A: Lights it