Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack.
His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
Vote:
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
Vote:
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Vote:
Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4.
He can now multi task and use face time.
Vote:
Chuck Norris can braid a bald head.
Vote:
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
Vote:
When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord.
He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
Vote:
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra ....
After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra
Eventually died
Vote:
The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
Vote:
Black Holes are places where parallel universes are hiding from Chuck Norris.
Vote: