Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
WikiLeaks are just Chuck Norris' Thoughts.
The reason everything is better in Texas is because Chuck Norris said so.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
Chuck Norris can build a Water Dam... In the Sahara Desert.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
The ground hog only pokes his head out to check for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was supposed to make a cameo appearence in "Full House" but he was let off because he wanted to rename the show "Roundhouse."
Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.