Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag. Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.
Chuck Norris uses black holes to clean his dishes.
Chuck Norris bunked school one day. Till today that day is known as Sunday.
Chuck Norris can break his opponents serve with an ace.
The truth hurts dosen't it, Chuck Norris' truth kills.
Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers. The food cooks itself out of pressure.
Superman got his powers when Chuck Norris sneezed on him.
The dark side of the moon is the side that cowers in fear of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.