A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.
When Chuck Norris rides into the sunset, the sun is actually running from him.
Mess with Chuck Norris, you get roundhouse kicked.
When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks, physics decides to shut up.
Electricity pays Chuck Norris to light up his house.
When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
Chuck Norris finished the Never Ending Story.
Chuck Norris is the only person that can make you feel a punch to your face in your groin.
Chuck Norris is so powerful he can jumpstart a car by attaching the cables to his chest hair.
Chuck Norris doesn't smile, his mouth smiles for him.
NASA is negotiating with Chuck Norris about using his roundhouse kick as a propulsion to get to Mars.