A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.
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Chuck Norris rubs two pieces of fire together to make wood.
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Q: You know the Roman Empire, well how do you think it fell?
A: Chuck Norris
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When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
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Chuck Norris can surf on lava.
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Chuck Norris adds Facebook as a friend.
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People say that time heals all wounds.
They obviously never got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
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Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
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Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
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If Chuck Norris movies were in 3D, the audience would be dead.
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