Joke #5390

A guy had a date with this really hot blonde. He wanted a tan, so he went up on his roof and stripped because he didn't want a tan line. But he fell asleep and woke up three hours later with a sunburn, especially on his d**k. He puts lotion on it, wraps it up and gets ready for his date. The blonde comes over, they make dinner and are watching a movie when the sunburn on the guy's d**k really starts to hurt. So he excuses himself to the kitchen, where he pours milk on his d**k to alleviate the burn. The blonde, who has followed him, peeks in the kitchen and says to herself, "So that's how they load them."
Vote: has 70.02 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: How do you drown a blond? A: Don't tell her to swallow.
Vote: has 30.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
A blonde get's in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing. She calls the police and reports a theft. When the police officer comes, he looks at the blonde who is crying and and says, "Ma''re sitting in the backseat..."
Vote: has 80.29 % from 117 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, cop
A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!" The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. You rotten bastard, "says the husband,"my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!!
Vote: has 64.05 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
I looked into a blonde's eyes, but all I saw was the back of her head!
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead team were sent out to install telephone poles for the Telephone Company. After the first day, the brunette team had installed 30 poles, the redhead team had installed 37 poles, and the blonde team had installed 7. The contractor was outraged with the blonde team and demanded to know why they had done so few. "Hey, we saw what the other teams were doing. Their's were still sticking out of the ground."
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, ginger, phone
A blonde, a priest, a doctor, a nurse, a brunette, a redhead, a lawyer, a rabbi, a musician, a farmer, a lawyer, an accountant, a Mexican, an Indian, a Chinaman, an Irishman, an Englishman an American, A Russian, an Iraqi, Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Sarah Palin, George W Bush, Osama Bin laden and Barack Obama walked into a bar. The barman said, "Hang on a minute, is this some sort of joke?"
Vote: has 22.70 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, blonde, priest, nurse, lawyer
Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel!
Vote: has 50.29 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21.
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
Q: What does XXX stand for in a porno film? A: It's the signature of the three blondes who "act" in it
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
There was a burning building with a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde at the top. The firemen are yelling to the redhead to jump into a blanket and she jumps off the building and right as she was about to safely hit the blanket they moved it and she dies. They yell to the brunette to jump but she says,"No I saw what you did to the redhead"! They shout we don't like redheads! So the brunette jumps and sure enough they move the blanket and she dies. Then they shout to the blonde to jump off into the blanket. But the blonde says,"no I saw what you did to them"! They shout we don't like them! The blonde then says, "I don't trust you guys, put the blanket on the ground and step back!"
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde