If only telemarketers would have the balls to call Chuck Norris... Then none of us would have to put up with them again.
Chuck Norris protects his body guards.
Chuck Norris won a staring contest with his eyes closed.
Chuck Norris' shadow stays ten steps behind him in fear of a roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
Chuck Norris takes care of his guardian angel.
Water needs safety arm bands when swimming with Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the Army so they can make Kevlar vests.
Chuck Norris can play the saxophone... while holding his breath.