NASA sends a space shuttle up with two pigs and a blonde on board.
While the shuttle is taking off, the NASA command center calls the first pig and asks, "Pig #1, do you know your mission?"
The pig replies, "Oink oink. Get the shuttle into orbit and launch the trillion dollar satellite. Oink oink."
Then NASA Control asks the second pig, "Pig #2, do you know your mission?"
The second pig replies, "Oink oink. Once Pig #1 has completed the trillion dollar satellite launch, close hatch, and go back to Earth. Land shuttle. Oink oink."
Then NASA asks the blonde, "Blonde woman, do you know your mission?"
The blonde woman replies, "Ummmmmmm...Oh yeah, I remember now.Feed the pigs and DON'T TOUCH A GODDAMNED THING!"
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Q: What do you get when you give a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.
Three blondes are stranded on an island.
A fairy comes along and says that she will grant each person a wish.
So the first blonde says she wants to be really smart so she digs and finds a cell phone and calls the Army.
The second blonde says that she wants to be even smarter so she finds a flair and sets it off.
The third blonde says that she wants to be even smarter than both of them, so the fairy changes her hair color to black and she says,"Let's go over the bridge."
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Q: How do you electrocute a blonde?
A: Tell her to demonstrate the proper usage of an electric chair.
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A blonde keeps checking her mail box.
A neighbour notices her repeated trips to the kerb and asks if she’s waiting for a special delivery.
‘No,’ she replies.
‘But my computer keeps telling me I have mail.’
One day while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement.
He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what’s so funny.
The blonde giggled and replied, “When you weren’t looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!
Q: How does a blonde order a root beer?
A: Extra large, hold the roots.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back
Q. What do you do if a blond throws a pin at you?
A. Run...she has a grenade in her mouth.
How do you know when a blonde has a brain fart?
Her ears flap.