Joke #5578

Q:What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A:Santa stops after three hos.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

They presented him with a cup when he was a boxer. It was to keep his teeth in.

The Golfer asked his Caddy, "Hey boy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday? Caddy replied, "The way you play, Sir, its a crime any day of the week!"

Kobe Bryant wears the number 24 to remind himself about how many seconds he has to hog the ball.

Peter goes golfing every Saturday. One Saturday, he comes home tired and five hours late. His wife asks him, "What took you so long?" Peter says, "That was the worst game of golf I've ever had. We got up to the first tee, and Harry hit a hole-in-one and immediately dropped dead of a heart attack." Peter's wife says, "OMG! That's terrible!" Peter says, "I know. Then, for the rest of the game, it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry. . ."

An American businessman is on a business trip in Japan and hires a hooker. The whole night, this Japanese hooker keeps screaming: "Hoshimota! Hoshimota!" He can't quite remember what the word means, but he's sure he's pleased the hooker to best of his ability. The next morning, he goes to play a game of golf with his Japanese business partner when he makes a hole-in-one. Everyone is congratulating him in Japanese and he can't think anything to say but "HOSHIMOTA!" Concerned, his partner turns to him "What do you mean it's in the wrong hole?"

Q: What do you get when you cross an alligator with a road runner? A: A 100 mph nigger eater.

Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.

Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Para-olympics? A: Having two legs.

I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon. I mean – you've got a gun, haven't you?