Joke #5596

Gemma:My dog doesn't have a nose. Ortoise: How does he smell? Gemma: Awful!
Vote:
has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

What do you call the reindeer with one eye higher than the other? Isaiah.
Vote:
has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the nude. He saw a little girl coming towards him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading. The girl came up to him and asked "What do you have under the newspaper, mister?" "A bird," the guy replied. The little girl walked away and the guy fell asleep. When he woke up, he was in a hospital in tremendous pain. When the Police asked him what happened, the guy replied, "I don't know. I was lying on the beach, this girl asked me about my privates, and the next thing I know is I'm here." Police went back to the beach, found the girl, and asked her "What did you do to that naked fellow?" After a little pause, the girl replied, "To him? Nothing. I was playing with the bird and it spit on me, so I broke its neck, cracked its eggs, and set its nest on fire."
Vote:
has 68.84 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, kids
Why do police dogs lick their balls? To get the taste of Nigger out their mouths.
Vote:
has 33.50 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, dog, racist
Teacher: "Name five things that contain milk." Pupil: "Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."
Vote:
has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, teacher
Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice? A: He didn't give a hoot!
Vote:
has 65.42 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, communication
Who robs banks and squirts ink? Billy the Squid.
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
How does an octopus go to war? Well-armed.
Vote:
has 53.04 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, war
Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, “I think we’re in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?” This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, “I’ve got an idea. We’ll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours.” The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled the ribbons off while they were playing.” “OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars. Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled their collars off while they were playing.” “There’s got to be some way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, “I know! Why don’t you take the black one and I’ll take the white one!”
Vote:
has 79.72 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat. The police stop him and say that he can’t drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo. The man agrees and drives off. The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back and again. He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I though I told you to take those to the zoo." The man replies "I did. Today I’m taking them to the movies."
Vote:
has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, travel
What do you call a dinosaur drinking Tequila? Tyrannosaurus Mex.
Vote:
has 25.67 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal