How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.
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Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common?
A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!
How are men like noodles?
They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
Ladies and Gentlemen, if there is anybody here who is feeling, worried, nervous or apprehensive it is probably because you just married John.
How do you know if your man is dead?
The sex is the same, but there's less ironing.
Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.
Men are like buses.
They have spare tires and smell funny.
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
Ones the bus was full of people.
A man looks at a lovely girl, she looks at him, he smiled, she did so, he told her get off at the next station, she did, he took her place.
A man walking down the streets sees another man with a very big dog.
One man says to the other, "Does your dog bite?"
The man replies, "No my dog doesn't."
The man pats the dog and has his hand bitten off, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite" said the injured man.
"Thats not my dog", replied the other.