How is a man like a snowstorm?
You don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.
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Adam goes to God and says, "I would like a mate to please me and make living joyful. She should be beautiful and perfect in every way.
God says, "I can do that, but it will cost you a testicle, a kidney, and one eye."
To which Adam replied, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"
Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. So if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"
It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.
A man sits on a bus looking ashamed.
The man next to him notices and asks what is wrong.
He says that when he went to buy the bus ticket, the woman serving him had the most unbelievable breasts, so he got flustered and asked for two tickets to Tittsburgh instead of Pittsburgh.
The man next to him laughs, "Don't worry about that. We all make Freudian slips. This morning I was having breakfast with my wife. I meant to say, 'Pass the salt,' but I accidently said, 'You f**king bitch, you ruined my life.'"
Men are like Bluetooth.
When they’re close they’re connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.
Jennifer, wanna go to my place?
I am not Jennifer
But I didn't ask about that...
Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common?
A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!
Q: Why are there only snow men and not snow women?
A: Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
Two factory workers are talking.
The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see."
She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
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