Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
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Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.
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Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common?
A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
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Chuck Norris can experience a once in a life time occurrence... twice.
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Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
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Angelina Jolie can curve a bullet. Chuck Norris can curve a laser.
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Once you pop, you just can't stop.
Unless you're Chuck Norris.
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I had an idea once, and a light bulb appeared over my head.
Chuck Norris had an idea, and the sun was created.
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The sandman puts other people to sleep but Chuck Norris put the sandman to sleep.
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Chuck Norris walks up his staircase to get to the basement.
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