Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris can play the saxophone... while holding his breath.
Chuck Norris once walked down a street with his fists in his pockets. He was then arrested for concealing two deadly weapons.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Do you know why babys cry when they are born? Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
The Twilight Zone enters the Chuck Norris Zone.
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.
Chuck Norris' pager is still cool.
Chuck Norris is what makes the Central Nervous System nervous