Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand. That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
Evolution ended the day Chuck Norris was born.
Chuck Norris favorite pick up line: ''now''
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
Chuck Norris can flip a coin and make it land on both sides at the same time.
If, by some incredible space-time parodox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
When Jacques Cousteau reached the bottom of the sea he found Chuck Norris snorkeling.
Some say that Chuck Norris is the Stig.
If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.